When the wind is right, they soar. Let out more string, they go higher; with some gusts you can do tricks. But not everyday is kite-flying windy. Some are calm, some too wild, and some look great but for some reason just don't work. I like this metaphor for how I am living my life!
Funny, because at one time I wanted to be an airplane pilot (just as a hobby). Even did a test flight, prompting my grandmother to claim I had more money than brains (and my husband to begin to realize that with my family full disclosure can lead to humorous moments). But now turbulence really gets to me, taking off is fraught with some visceral fear, and there is some anxiety along the way. Once I had kids, my reactions changed (and include a little bit of a fear of heights too).
BUT KITE FLYING - now that's pretty cool! The first kites I had were simple paper ones from the dime store, cheap and easy to put together, often floundered over power lines or in nearby trees. I remember our family having a dragon kite growing up, a very long kite we got in San Francisco which really could only be flown at the beach (and only some days was the wind right). In college I had a kite in my dorm room - from a store in boston, I think, very colorful and fun. One of my daughters has one in her room now. Really, rather than spending my days worrying about why I am NOT an airplane pilot, maybe I can just reflect on how you can be a kite flyer EVERY day. Even the days I don't fly a kite - and it has been a long time.
Today I had a great session with SF, a follow-up session from the mandala workshop I participated in this month. Only two 1/2 weeks ago - both just yesterday, and hard to believe it was this month! The session was great - very focused beginning and end, work done throughout. There is no question in my mind that there is something compelling about mandalas for me. There are plenty of questions in my mind about where I go next with that. And an admission that I really don't have to go anywhere - but I can choose to. When I look at how LONG I have been involved in this form (11 years +/-), how MANY I have created (probably nearing 100), and how easy it has been in the past 5 months to really stick with this as a meditation tool and learning point, it just seems more consistent and pervasive in my life than anything else I am doing.
So we talked about things I could and couldn't do with the mandalas. She helped me focus on what to focus on (a great tool for someone with ADD), and gave me an assignment for the next few weeks when we will meet again. Very interesting - helpful in both acknowledging the multitude of interests and ideas I have, and in choosing a focus. Choosing a focus is very hard for me - and I think I just discovered some new tools.
One new tool is to just keep lots of index cards around for all the ideas floating around in my head. I want to keep track of them all, and never can, but am afraid to lose them. Perhaps I can just write them all down on cards and keep them. SF helped me see how to focus on one or two - but meanwhile I haven't lost any of the others!! I suppose I can liken all my ideas to kites in the sky. If I were looking at a vast sky filled with kites, it would be very pleasing. But even if they are all the ideas I have, I can't fly them all at the same time. I can have strings attached to one or two. The others might have to float on their own, or be given to others to fly. I could always fly other kites later, but for now - one or two will call me. I will take up their strings and test the winds.
I'll be flying a kite at the beach this summer......
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