WHAT IF what I do now is enough??

Today has been a good day -- it always is when it starts with a walk with my Galloway walk/run partner!

Enjoyed doing my mandala today - it is an interesting process as I rarely know what I am going to do when I sit down. They almost do themselves - the color choices, which markers or pencils, how the design goes. Today's is quite symmetrical and geometric. I started with the compass and drew circles and arcs to start it off. From there - well, today felt like a simple day, so I left it at that. Bold markers, outlining, simple spaces. Added infinity symbols - that's how it was.

So, I suppose I should take from this that the possibilities for this life are infinite.

Today I also made a point of making plans. I often have many great ideas of fun things to do, but when it comes down to it other things come up. SO, I have two big plans - one this week and one this month. Hmmm....that goes along with the way I am approaching the month. THIS WEEK - I will see a play with one of my daughters, a friend, and her daughter. THIS MONTH - I will travel to JAMAICA with my sister for a week of yoga, healthy eating, exercise, and general spiritual well being. I am so excited!!! It has taken me a while to commit to doing this, mostly feeling too indispensible at home, but my fabulous partner not only agreed, but said I should have a week each year - and that I will love this trip. I certainly think I will - and it is something I've never done or had a chance to spend this kind of time with my amazing sister.

I have had an epiphany of sorts this week. WHAT IF - WHAT IF - WHAT IF ---- I stopped thinking all the time about getting a job and how that would make me happy, that it's the only thing missing from my life. WHAT IF I just decided that I am NOT going to work until at least one of the girls is in college - 3 years or so from now. WHAT IF what I do now is enough?? Like my shift to thinking that I'm in the prime of my life, this becomes very freeing. And I realize how often I go back to the "if only"s - if only I was working, if only I wasn't home all the time, if only ..... But, maybe that's why I'm never quite happy with what I have going now.

I still have to work through this line of thinking - I keep coming back to it. But really, WHAT IF .... what I am doing is what I want to do??

RESULTS:

TODAY (2/2/2010): walk (YES), eat lunch (YES - spinach omelet with side of sliced tomatoes - ate with my sweetie)

THIS WEEK: 7 servings of fruits/vegetables each day (5.5, 2)

THIS MONTH (FEB): Mandala every day, lose 10 pounds

THIS YEAR (2010): lose 47 pounds

GOALS FOR TOMORROW (2/3): MORE FRUITS AND VEGGIES, walk/run

Still living PRIME.....